night of the drunken werewolf
by firestix
Summary: Remus gets drunk, very drunk. He tells Harry things he should never of heard.


I don't own anyone here. If you are homophobic then I suggest you leave but its only hugging, so it ain't bad. I also want to say I have nothing against these characters but its just plain hilarious.

Everyone's gone out leavening Harry, Sirius and Remus alone in the house. Harry is sitting on the floor reading a book on the history of Qiutich (I have no idea how you spell it.) that he's read over 100 times and Remus and Sirius are talking.

"Hey, Sirius?" Asked Harry "Is there any drinks in the house?"

Sirius turned from Remus to Harry "Yes, come on, I'll show you." He stood up and Harry followed after him.

Sirius led Harry through the house and down a flight of stairs then into the cellar. He walked over to a pair of old rotten doors and pulled them open. They creaked and bits of dust and cobwebs came off them.

There in front them where thousands and thousands of bottles stacked very close together. Harry looked doubtfully at them and pulled on out of one of the shelves. He raised his eye brows and turned to his godfather "Wine? Aren't I a bit young for that?"

"It's not very strong; I used to drink it when I was your age." He said taking several bottles.

"Oh, so nothing happened to you?"

Sirius though for a moment then answered with uncertainty in his voice "I can't remember, I normally woke up three days later in the middle of London."

Harry looked at the bottle in his hand and decided he wasn't that thirsty.

They both walked back up the stairs and into the living room where Remus was still sitting. Sirius pushed a bottle into his hands and sat down on another chair.

"Sirius, you do know what wine does to me." He was going to give the bottle back.

"Yes I remember, but just one wont hurt." He opened his bottle and just drank it out of the bottle.

Remus being slightly more civilized found a glass and poured the wine into it. Harry took a small sip and then put it down, it tasted horrible. He sat down and read any random book not quite wanting to know how he'll be able to withstand a drunken godfather and werewolf…

Empty glass bottles were lying on the floor. Remus stood drunkenly holding a wine bottle in his hand. Sirius was trying to make him sit down and Harry sat in his chair constantly glancing at the door.

"I hated your father, you know?" Remus hiccupped and stumbled slightly "And did you know he was gay?"

Harry stared at Remus with horror

"Remus, calm down. Harry don't listen to him, he's not himself." Sirius gave Remus a warning glare.

"Oh come on, Seery. The boy needs to know this." He drank out of the bottle and turned back to Harry "And you were basically an accident. Because at the time he was sleeping with another guy. You want to know who?"

Harry wryly shook his head not really wanting to know the answer.

Sirius lunged at Remus "Shut up!" he hissed then turned to Harry "He's just being an idiot, Harry. James married Lily because he loved her, so he wasn't gay."

Remus suddenly laughed "Love? Snape gave him a funny potion making him drunk! He slept with her then later found she was pregnant. So all he could do was marry her."

"But, what about the pictures?"

Remus laughed "I suggested they should take lovely pictures to give to their parents. But James was still dating-" Sirius clasped his hand over his mouth.

"Go on Harry, you don't want to hear this rubbish do you?" He asked hopefully, so that he'd leave.

Harry hesitated "I want to know who my dad really loved…"

Sirius paled and reluctantly took his hand away.

"It was good old Seery!" Remus cried "That's why I hate your father because he's my snuffles!" He suddenly hugged Sirius who tried desperately to get away from him.

Harry looked completely confused, he had never seen Remus like this and hopped he was only saying this because he was drunk.

"And then they make a movie and you stole the part the main character! It's always about you, isn't it?" Remus said suddenly

Harry turned to Sirius in confusion "Movie? What movie? I'm not in a movie."

Sirius glared at Remus

"Didn't you know? There are cameras following you around everywhere filming your every move, then other people sit a watch you. I was meant to be the main but noooo, they chose you because you're younger."

Harry looked a Sirius again, he was so confused.

Suddenly he saw Sirius take out his wand and pointed it at Harry. He said something that cause light blue smoke came out of the wand and surrounded Harry then there was darkness.

"Harry? Harry wake up." Said a voice.

Harry opened his eyes and sat up. He straightened his glasses and saw Sirius.

"What happened? Wait Remus said something's…" he looked round and realized all the bottles weren't there.

"You fell asleep, after you drank a bit. I think it was to strong for you."

"But Remus was drunk! And you were trying to stop him!"

"It must have been a dream," Sirius said thoughtfully "He went to bed a while ago."

Harry looked confused "But it was so real. He said there were cameras following me!"

"You do have a wild imagination." He smiled "You had better get to bed."

Harry looked at the room once more, checking for cameras, then nodded. He said good night then walked out.

Sirius looked out the door to make sure he had gone. He turned and walked over to the cupboard. He opened the doors and Remus fell out. He had passed out. Sirius sighed and picked him up and walked out the room.

"You're lucky Harry's gullible." He grumbled crossly as he dragged Remus up the stairs.

Please Review! This is my first story and I writ it at 11 o'clock at night, but I tried, so be nice…please?


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